Creating a Personalized Plan for End-of-Life Wishes
*Rubs hands together* I love talking about what I get to do in my work. Let's dive in!!
Talking about death or end of life feels far away, uncomfortable, or just plain overwhelming for most of us. But here’s the thing: not talking about it doesn’t make it go away. (SPOILER!! We all die!) What it does is leave your loved ones guessing, sometimes in moments of crisis, about what you would have wanted. Creating a personalized plan for your end-of-life wishes is one of the most loving gifts you can leave behind.
Why Personalization Matters
End-of-life planning isn’t just about checking boxes on a legal form. It’s about reflecting on what you value, what brings you comfort, and what kind of legacy you want to leave. For one person, it might be “I want to be at home, with my dog at the foot of the bed.” For another, it might be “Play music, keep the mood light, and don’t let anyone fight over my collection of cat figurines.” (ahem) These details matter. They shape the way your story closes.
When you take the time to write down your wishes, you give your loved ones the gift of clarity. Instead of making hard choices while second-guessing themselves, they can move through the moment knowing, This is what they wanted. This is how I honor them.
What Goes Into a Plan?
A personalized plan covers more than just medical decisions. Here are some of the bigger areas to consider:
Medical care: Do you want all possible interventions, or are there limits to what feels right for you? Think about things like resuscitation, life support, feeding tubes or comfort-focused care.
Environment: Where would you feel most at peace? At home, in the hospital, somewhere else? Do you want music, prayer, silence, laughter, or something else?
Practical decisions: Who will handle your finances, your paperwork, your pets? Do you want a funeral, a memorial, or something completely different?
Legacy and meaning: Are there letters you’d like to leave? Stories you want preserved? Causes you’d like supported in your honor?
A plan can be as simple as a few handwritten pages or as detailed as a formal advance directive paired with a personal letter. The point isn’t to create the “perfect” plan, it’s to create your plan.
How to Get Started
Beginning this process doesn’t have to feel heavy. Think of it like storytelling your story.
Reflect: Start with questions. What makes you feel safe? What values guide your choices? How do you want to be remembered?
Write it down: Memories fade, and stress clouds judgment. Writing ensures your wishes are clear.
Choose your people: Identify a health care proxy or power of attorney; someone who will carry your wishes forward when you can’t. (Make sure they're ok with the job!)
Have the conversations: Plans are most powerful when shared. Talk to your loved ones so they understand not just what you want, but why.
Review and update: Life changes. So do our perspectives. Revisit your plan every few years to keep it aligned with who you are now.
The Gift of Peace of Mind
When people talk about end-of-life planning, they often assume it’s depressing. But in truth, it can be liberating and even fun! Knowing that your wishes are documented and shared allows you to live more fully now. It’s a weight lifted for you and for the people who love you.
I’ve seen families crumble under the pressure of making hard decisions without guidance, and I’ve seen families move through loss with more ease because their loved one had spelled out exactly what mattered most. The difference is striking.
Closing Thought
Creating a personalized plan for end-of-life wishes isn’t about focusing on death. It’s about living in a way that’s aligned with your values, right until the very end. It’s about leaving behind clarity instead of confusion, comfort instead of chaos. (Guys. Death gives our lives meaning!)
So, take a deep breath. Pour yourself a cup of tea. Start jotting down what matters most to you. It doesn’t have to be finished today, it just has to begin. Your future self, and your loved ones, will thank you.
If you need some guidance on where to start, check out my workbooks!! Or reach out to me for help.
