The Ghost of Christmas Present: Living Through the Season You’re In

The Ghost of Christmas Present isn’t exactly subtle. It shows up like Buddy the Elf, loud and colorful, full of “be merry!” energy while you’re just trying to remember how to breathe. Grief has a funny way of making the world look too bright and too dim at the same time. Everywhere you turn, there’s tinsel, cheer, and one more reminder that life does not look the way it used to.

If you’re grieving, the holidays can feel like walking through a snow globe version of your own life. Everything glittering on the outside, everything swirling on the inside, and none of it quite settling. People may expect you to jump back into tradition or enthusiasm, but here’s the truth no one puts on a greeting card: presence does not require perfection. You don’t have to be festive to be present. You don’t even have to enjoy any of this. You just have to keep showing up as you are.

Maybe “being here” this year looks like saying no to things that drain you, even if that disappoints someone. Maybe it’s eating pie on the couch while watching a movie you’ve already seen ten times. Maybe it’s letting yourself cry through a song that used to make you smile, letting the memories come as they want to come. All of that counts as presence. All of that is valid.

The Ghost of Christmas Present is always asking one simple question: What is real right now? Not what should be, not what once was, not what everyone else expects. What is here in this breath, in this body, in this moment? Grief lives in the gaps between what was and what is, and that can make the present feel wobbly, but it is still yours to inhabit.

Try this little practice: jot down three truths about how you’re honestly doing this season. No filter. No performance. Just truth, even if it feels messy or small. Then ask yourself, What would compassion look like for me today? Maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s calling a friend. Maybe it’s loosening your grip on the idea that you have to be “okay” right now.

Grief doesn’t erase the present. It reshapes it. And even in a season that demands sparkle, softness, and celebration, you are allowed to show up in the exact shape your heart is taking today.